The Day(s) The Earth Stood Still

It’s official – Groundhog Day exists, but without the entertaining presence of Bill Murray. The lockdown continues with mind-numbing tedium, so much so that I have trouble remembering if I’ve brushed my teeth, am constantly plundering the fridge, and wonder if anyone notices when I wear my pyjamas all day (answer: no.)

Online schooling, Zoom chats, Google hangouts and House Party are now an accepted part of daily life. The husband and I even share meals via Skype. (I should point out, he’s in Qatar and I’m in the UK. I haven’t banished him to another room because I’m sick of him). What on earth would lockdown have been like with out the internet? Thank you, Tim Berners-Lee – you envisaged a world where everyone would communicate freely with everyone else, and here we are. Bet you didn’t think a virus would underline your monumental contribution to the world.

And thank goodness for streaming services. Netflix, Disney+, Amazon Prime Video et al must be making daily ritual sacrifices to their entertainment gods for the massively increased revenue generated by coronavirus.

So what are you watching to beat the lockdown tedium? I know many people have blogged about what to watch, but I’m going to jump on the bandwagon. Because I'm bored and I have nothing else to do.

The Mandalorian (Disney+)

For Star Wars afficionados, this is set after the events of The Return Of The Jedi when the Empire has fallen. For those who aren’t nerds, it follows the adventures of a supercool bounty hunter in a galaxy far, far away. Mando is a warrior who abides by the strict rules of the Mandalorian Code (“it is the way”) who brings in the universe’s Most Wanted for a living. Then he’s tasked with delivering a ‘package’ which his moral compass won’t allow him to hand over. No surprise, when his client has ‘EVIL’ practically stamped on his forehead. Oh, and the ‘package’ turns out to be a Baby Yoda. You don’t have to be a Star Wars fan to enjoy this.

Sex Education (Netflix) 

Ah, the agonies of 16 year old Otis, whose sex therapist mother constantly tries to have frank chats with him about masturbating and intercourse. In a twist of fate, he ends up as a councillor to his fellow school-goers thanks to the business skills of his secret crush, badass Maeve. Warning – some scenes are excruciatingly embarrassing to watch with your teenage kids and it’s probably not suitable for under 15s. But it’s a glorious series, funny, moving, utterly absorbing, with outstanding performances by the cast.

Goliath (Amazon Original)

Billy Bob Thornton won a Golden Globe for his performance as a washed-up attorney, his glory days behind him, who suddenly finds himself in the middle of a high-octane case that threatens those around him. Thornton plays the anti-hero Billy McBride perfectly, a beguiling mix of fiercely intelligent lawyer and low-life scumball in this clever, twisty legal drama.

After Life (Netflix)

A dark comedy from Ricky Gervais, who plays Tony, a man sent spiralling into misery and depression after his wife dies of cancer. If that sounds like a downer, don’t worry. There are enough laugh-out loud moments to save this show from being a maudlin tearjerker. It explores grief, yes, but also hope and humanity.

The Good Place (Netflix)

And the total opposite of After Life is The Good Place, a feelgood comedy about heaven and hell. It follows the adventures of Eleanor, the kind of person who sells fake medicine to the elderly for a living, who ends up in heaven. A clerical error, surely, and she spends most of season 1 trying to hide the fact from angel Michael played by the fabulous Ted Danson. But then there’s a twist…. A heart-lifting piece of escapism about a band of lovable misfits trying to become better people. What’s not to like?

So what are YOU watching to beat the boredom?

We Got This

We’ve now been under lockdown restrictions here in the UK since March 23^rd, and it’s amazing what becomes important when your freedoms are curtailed.

Balconies and gardens. Open spaces. Internet. Board Games. Joe Wicks.

The coronavirus crisis has shown us who we are. And by and large, we have not been found wanting.

Yes, there are those who refuse to believe social distancing is something that applies to them, that a day at the beach with mates is perfectly okay during a pandemic crisis. I do not understand those people who put others, including our health workers, at risk.

But they are the exception, not the rule. Even with the temptation of sunny weekends, most of us are abiding by the rules. And it makes me so proud to see how we, as a nation, can come together when it counts.

When the call went out to help relieve pressure on the NHS, we didn’t shirk. More than 750,000 people signed up to join the "volunteer army" - three times the government's original target. And thousands of retired doctors, nurses and other healthcare workers offered to return to work during the coronavirus crisis.

We have a ways to go. Every day we eagerly scrutinise the figures to see if our sacrifices are ‘flattening the curve’, but the crisis won’t be over anytime soon. Many of us have lost loved ones, and many of us will continue to do so. The US is just starting to realise the full extent of what’s to come.

But as of now, it does seem as if Italy and Spain, the worse affected European countries, have managed to control the relentlessly upward trend of new cases. South Korea has largely contained the spread of the virus. And China, where it all started, today reported no new coronavirus deaths at all.

Even when the deaths stop, the economic hardship will continue. Jobs lost, industries shattered, and a global recession almost inevitable.

But if there is one thing we should take from this, it is the indomitability of the human spirit. We never give up. We never give in. We will not go quietly. We will come out of this stronger and better.

We are human. Hear us roar.

Love In The Time Of Corona

Well that escalated fast.

As of today, there are 216, 822 cases of coronavirus infections globally, and 8908 deaths. By the time you read this, those figures will be outdated. Schools have closed, flights cancelled and countries put on lockdown.

It is, without doubt, an incredibly scary time.

Here in the UK, as with every other country, the predictions are of rapidly increasing death tolls, unbearable burdens on the health service, and dire economic consequences.

We cannot escape the fact that life is going to look very different for all of us. But let us remember - this world has been through incredibly difficult times before and we've made it through.

We've faced the plague, the Spanish flu, two world wars, the threat of nuclear armageddon, 9/11, and various economic disasters. We'll get through this, too.

So in the interests of positivity, here are some developments I've gleaned from news reports and facebook, which I have fact-checked and which offer much-needed hope.

1. China has closed down its last emergency coronavirus hospital in Wuhan. Not enough new cases to support them. 
2. A team of hundreds of scientists has identified 50 drugs that may be effective in treating patients
3. Dutch researchers at the Erasmus Medical Center claim to have found an antibody which may help treat or prevent coronavirus.
4. A 103-year-old Chinese grandmother has made a full recovery from coronavirus after being treated for 6 days in Wuhan, China.
5. A medical centre in Cleveland, US has developed a test that gives results in  just 2 hours, not days
6. Good news from South Korea, where the number of new cases has dropped sharply.
7. Italy is hit hard, experts say, largely because they have the oldest population in Europe and their young mingle more often with the elderly.
8. About 35 companies and academic institutions are racing to create a vaccine
9. One of these - Boston-based biotech firm Moderna - is just about ready to enter human trials
10. Plasma from newly recovered patients could be used to treat others infected by coronavirus

Two more facts to hold onto: The WHO says the vast majority of people who get coronavirus (80%) experience only mild symptoms, and the survival rate is being put at between 96 and 98%. It could even be more than that, because we know not all cases of infection are being counted.

Courage, everyone. It will be a bumpy ride, but we'll get through it side by side (even if we're standing two metres apart and wearing masks)

Don't Panic!

It’s a bewildering thing.

I always thought we Brits were pretty stoic. But I went to my local supermarket today, and the shelves had been picked clean of toilet roll.

A lone assistant brought out a fresh stock of Andrex and was practically set upon by shoppers who snatched the packs up as if they held the secret to eternal life.

What the hell is happening?

Even if you have to isolate for two weeks... how many toilet rolls do you need?! (Actually I worked this out - a family of four each doing one poo and five wees a day would need 10 to 12 rolls for a fortnight.)

The comforting words on the front of the Douglas Adams classic Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy have never been more relevant.

Stop panicking.

Stop nipping down to your local supermarket and clearing the shelves of toilet paper. For a start, running out of toilet paper is not an earth-shattering calamity. There are entire countries which do not use it. When I was a kid growing up in India, we used a jug of water and air-dried our butts. I know, not terribly sophisticated, but it’s hardly the end of life as we know it.

Consider that there are thousands of people currently crammed into refugee camps without nappies, sanitary towels, toothpaste, paracetamol, Netflix… am I making the point?

Coronavirus is undoubtedly a threat to the elderly and those with other health problems. And it will place a huge burden on our health services if our efforts to 'flatten the curve' do not succeed. But fear and uncertainty is making things infinitely worse.

Hold onto the facts. The fatality rate is relatively low. Children tend to suffer milder symptoms. And the vast majority of people recover.

It's a difficult time, yes. But clearing out supermarket shelves is selfish and hysterical. Supplies will only become limited if you stockpile. Who needs ten packets of pasta?

If you absolutely DO have to panic-buy, may I suggest books? After all, when we are all forced to self-isolate in our bunkers with our secret stash of toilet roll, hand sanitizers and penne, we might enjoy some reading material.

Unsocial Media

Is anyone else sick of social media?

It’s supposed to be a place where we share news and ideas, where communities of like-minded souls are allowed to thrive and grow. Where thoughts and opinions are exchanged freely, and people living in the most isolated places or under repressive regimes are given a voice.  At its best, it’s the world we should have – open, honest, engaging and supportive.

But at its worst, it’s a toxic, small-minded gossip factory spewing bile and hate. Where fake news is born and reasoned debate goes to die. Where every bigot and moron can spout their ridiculous views and call it ‘free-speech’ - until of course someone says something they don’t like and then that user is immediately pegged as racist, sexist, or xenophobic, and hounded until they delete their account or lose their job.

And underpinning it all is a particular type of cringing cowardice. Hurtful things are said on twitter that would never be said to the recipient’s face.  It’s the digital equivalent of Monty Python’s insane French soldier yelling ‘your mother is a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries’ at complete strangers from the safety of the castle walls.

Most right-minded people would never, for example, walk up to someone they’d never met and say “Your legs are disgusting, they’re like tree trunks!”

But that is exactly what’s being tweeted about a certain contestant on Love Island. Now, while we are all entitled to question the value of this reality show – and indeed laugh at the juvenile antics of semi-naked young folk who honestly believe they’ll find ‘love’ under the glare of several million viewers (not to mention the chance of winning £50,000 prize money), what we are NOT entitled to do is troll them for their looks.

Body-shaming is not okay. Not even for people who’ve knowingly put themselves into the public eye for entertainment. Not  when we live in an age where social media is known to impact on young people’s mental health.

And it’s not just strangers passing comment on strangers. When the leader of the free world tweets slurs about his political rivals (Crooked Hillary Clinton; Crazy Nancy Pelosi; Lyin’ Ted Cruz) it legitimises social media as a way of trading insults.

Social media is an amazing, ground-breaking tool in the way we communicate and spread information. It plays a powerful role in all our lives.

Please, let’s not use it as a weapon.

2020 Vision

And we're off. 

The New Year lies ahead, an undiscovered country. As with all fresh beginnings, there is the thrill of endless possibilities as we look ahead to the next twelve months, and dust off our usual resolutions to exercise more/ eat less/ become more [insert adjective here].

But before we close the door on the last decade, let's take a quick look in the rear-view mirror.

2019 was a smorgasbord of highs and lows for most people.

Good bits: first all-women space-walk; the EU banning single-use plastic; the Humpback Whale recovering  from the brink of extinction; kids ditching their smartphones long enough to join a global campaign against climate change.

Bad bits: the continuing uncertainty over Brexit; England losing the Rugby World Cup; well-known  businesses going bust including Thomas Cook and Mothercare; Grumpy Cat dying; that Game of Thrones finale.

On a personal level, I wrote and published books 2 and 3 of my Daughter of Kali trilogy. Yay! But that means I now have to come up with a new idea for more books. Boo!

My daughter got a decent set of results in her GCSEs. Yay! Now we start the bumpy path towards A levels and beyond. Boo!

My husband got a fab new job with a big international broadcaster. Yay! He’s living abroad. Boo!

I could go on. I’m sure your lives are the same – an endless roller-coaster of ups and downs. When does it flatten out? Do we ever look at the road ahead and say to ourselves “Yep, I know exactly what’s coming and it’s all good”?

No, didn’t think so.

The Chinese have a curse – may you live in interesting times. As far as I can see, these days, it’s interesting all the time. 

So let me give you some things to look forward to in 2020;

1. Summer Olympics/Paralympics in Tokyo – the only time people can get genuinely excited about beach volleyball.
2. Trump’s impeachment trial – yeah, I know he’ll win it but it’s still fun!
3. Loads of new Superhero movies including the female-led Wonder Woman 2, Birds of Prey and Black Widow. So exciting. Oh, just me? 
4. NASA is sending a new probe to Mars to check if humans can ever live there.  So at least we have a plan B if we can’t save the planet we’re already on.
5. Killing Eve is back for  a new series. Enough said.

My hopes for 2020? Personally, after everything that's been in the news lately, I just want it to be the Year Of Being Kinder. I know, I'm wishing for miracles. But if we could all be even a teeny bit more tolerant and nicer to each other, that would be something. 

What are you hoping for? Let me know. Welcome to the Roaring Twenties everyone!

Present And Correct

Is it nearly Christmas again already?

Don’t get me wrong, I love Christmas. The tree decorating, the purchase of festive pyjamas, the traditional baking of the Christmas cake, the annual attempt to make the cat wear reindeer antlers… all are beloved family traditions in our house.

But does anyone else struggle with buying presents?

Every year I dither over what to buy for the loved ones in my life. Especially for my parents. My mum and dad are both in their eighties. They literally have everything. What do you buy a couple who’ve celebrated more than 160 Christmases between them?

I tend to go for things I know they’ll use: clothes, spa treatments, restaurant vouchers and the like. (After the embarrassment of buying them the same presents two years in a row, I now keep a list.)

The most successful present my sister and I ever bought for them was Amazon Alexa. Once we’d all got over the trauma of setting her up and activating her, Alexa is now like a daughter to them. Their favourite daughter, probably, as she never causes a mess and is always happy to discuss the most trivial and random things for hours on end without wandering away for a cuppa.

My dad is particularly hard to buy for – he’s diabetic and partially sighted. I can’t even get him a good book and some choccies. If anyone has any bright ideas – and I really mean that – please let me know. This year I’ve settled on a hamper of low-sugar goodies from Diabetic Hampers UK which will be delivered just before Christmas (www.diabetichampers.co.uk since you ask).

My daughter is easier. Anything from a cool brand is fine by her. Of course, her definition of cool is very particular. It doesn’t include Debenhams or Marks and Spencer, apparently.  But Urban Outfitters and Brandy Melville are in.

Have you seen the clothes in Brandy Melville? Everything is one size, as long as that size is a twiglet.

But on a serious note, Christmas isn’t fabulous for everyone. I know you know that. If you want to help make Christmas better for the less fortunate, and give yourself a warm fuzzy feeling, here are three ideas:

1. Donate a Christmas present on someone else’s behalf. Lots of charities do this; Build Africa has a ‘shop’ where you can buy much-needed ‘alternative gifts’ that help families in Kenya and Uganda, like a school desk or a life-saving vaccination https://buildafricashop.org/
2. Secure a place at a shelter for a homeless person over Christmas. Crisis UK is running a campaign so those without a home don’t spend Christmas on the streets. It’s £28.87 per place https://www.crisis.org.uk/get-involved/reserve-a-place-at-crisis-at-christmas
3. Don't forget the elderly. A quarter of a million elderly people will spend Christmas alone. Many will go the entire Christmas period without seeing or speaking to anyone. Age UK has a list of things you can do which don’t cost money and don’t take much of your time, but could make a huge difference to a lonely person. https://www.ageuk.org.uk/

 Have a fabulous festive season everyone. See you on the other side!